Friday, 15 May 2015

Deliver me from Evil!

Cake delivery.......words that strike fear into the most confident cake maker......and with good reason, especially when its a tall wedding cake and definitely when you don't have the option of stacking on site!
I have spent many hours, even days finishing all the little details and checking and double checking that it is just perfect for the most important day of the happy couples life,  so the thought of some disaster just waiting around the corner is always there. Of course it rarely brain on the other hand seems to think it should keep reminding me that it could ... and it will be very persistent with this at 3am on the day before delivery!

So today I had a delivery to make for a lovely couple that met us at a wedding fayre last year. The design was to be a soft petal style wave with a few statement ruffle flowers in Royal blue. A ten inch vanilla base followed by double height lemon cakes and finished with double height chocolate cakes.
This cake was not large by any means but it was tall and very heavy and more importantly had to travel in one piece! Bring on the nightmares!

So here is what happened...or more importantly didn't happen....but it could of done...I mean what were the chances of a cow running across the motorway at the exact same time we were slowly travelling to the my head there was every chance and that's where my problems my head. It doesn't matter that i am a sensible person because on cake delivery day all sense goes out the window along with my sanity.

Its not only the fact that the cake room is situated at the bottom of a rather steep hill, nor the fact the the road up the hill has to be the most pothole ridden road in the vicinity...but living in a relatively small village in Wales means that most venues are a motorway and roundabout infested ordeal that literally strike fear into this feisty 5ft woman! I turn into a jibbering wreck wishing I had a Tardis or the like to safely transport my lovely creation.

Alas my superpowers are amiss and it will have to be the boot of the car.

Now .... as a cake maker carefully planning ahead for this day, I decided I would take every measure possible to ensure this cake stayed put. I had a central support through the entire cake which also had some heavy duty dowelling. I had a heavy duty specially made box with a recess in the bottom that perfectly fitted the board ensuring no movement to the bottom. I had removed the flowers and carefully packed those separately too. Nothing could move right?...well just to be convinced of this we carefully placed two large flat poly sheets in the boot to act as a shock absorber.
Ready for the off! well no not quite.
You see my brain awoke again and reminded me that I really ought to take my emergency repair kit (just in case) and i quickly gathered together the items that would cover every disaster from cows to hurricanes. Ok so now we are ready!

The cake is happily sitting in the boot with me next to it....determined not to open the lid until we get there. Its only half hour away....i can do that right? I check out Mr Tiddy in the driver seat as we slowly reverse at 1 mph off the drive as he tells me he wont bump the kerb......"Oh its fine, it will be fine" I say unconvincingly, trying to smile as we slowly climb the hill.

Out of the village and onto the first of what seems like hundreds of roundabouts. I glance at the box as I catch Mr Tiddy looking at me! "It will be ok once we are on the motorway" he says sensing my fear, and I nod and agree, resisting every urge to peek.
We get onto the motorway and into the slow lane. I try to relax as we poodle along behind a huge lorry. Bump...bump...bump...must resist....must resist.

Poor Mr Tiddy, like its not bad enough that he is responsible for getting us there in one piece and on time, he also has a nervous ninja on his hands! "the problem with the slow lane is its all battered from the lorries so its the worst lane...but I don't want to go fast so we have to stay in it" he says.
Now I am sure, no, in fact I know he was just trying to make me feel better but by now my bladder had become nervous and the urge not to peak was spiking off the scale!
"Next junction" he says with a smile. Well I must have been holding my breath because I suddenly let out a gasp that Anastasia Steele would be proud of!

We turn into the road that will take us to the grand venue, and when I say grand  mean GRAND!

A lovely tree lined road with....THE MOST potholes in the world! Oh my! my head a little voice is cursing the venue for having such rich guests but failing to ensure they arrive in comfort to stay at their over priced hotel! My ninja is awake and gritting her teeth!

We make the final turn only to be met by......SPEED BUMPS! Honestly I want to spontaneously combust at this point and remember my yogic breathing to get me through! Finally..after a last (almost just to top it off) sharp turn, we are at the entrance. Thankfully there is a space for us and i rather ungracefully exit the car and head off with Mr Tiddy to find out which suite we are delivering to. A lift ride later and we are there.
We patiently wait for the man with the keys to grant us access and enjoy the couple of minutes of sanity. We are in, and what a beautiful room!

We spot the small table in the corner with the grand looking cake stand and head over. My brain now decides its time to convince me that in the short distance from door to table we could trip or something could fall or we may even encounter a stray cow so I turn on my ninja eyesight just in case! Phew we made it!
Now just to get it from the box to stand and we are done.....mmmmm hard can that be? Well the box had to go on the floor as there was no other option...the cake is very heavy...the table and stand are quite high and im 5ft and a bit and despite Mr Tiddy being 6ft 3" there was no way i was letting him take responsibility for any mishaps. I gather myself together and quietly pray for no sudden noises as I slowly hoist the cake out and up.

I did it! Yet again I survived a cake delivery.

I add the flowers, take a few snaps and return to my usual humorous self as we head out the door safe in the knowledge that very soon we will do it all over again...ok it may not be the same cake or the same journey but let me tell you...I WILL be the same nervous wreck getting it safely delivered haha!

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